Post by personalprofound on Feb 5, 2011 10:42:08 GMT -5
Alright guys, I have started a website on self development as you might have noticed. (Two Step calls me link whore, thanks a lot dick).
www.personalprofound.com
I have written something close to 20 articles sence I started it back in November. It started out with a blog and then became a website together with a friend from RSDN.
I have been asking guys that I believe write solid stuff on rsdn if they want to contribute to the website as guest writers.
I want to make it as awesome as possible for YOU. I want you to get as much as possible out of it.
This is an interview with our friend Drama from RSDN.
Enjoy!
How often do you go out?
I am always out at least 3 nights a week, but I ideally I’d make it out 5-7 nights. I do 30 Day Challenges periodically too, and I highly recommend them! The most common advice you will ever get on the forum is GO OUT. It is true, you won’t learn to be successful with women if you don’t go out, but the quality of your night is important. I’ve learned that going out 3-4 nights a week and pushing myself HARD is much more beneficial than going out 7 nights a week and taking minimal action. The best case scenario is that you push yourself hard every night out.
What is going through your head(if anything)?
When I first started going out, I was constantly in my head. I questioned whether I should approach this girl, if that girl would like me, what I should open with, etc... I was trying to micromanage every interaction. I would remind myself "breaking rapport tonality, lead the interaction, get physical!" At the time, I was convinced that reminding myself of what actions to take was helping, but I've come to realize that it only slowed me down.
When you are out meeting women ANYWHERE, you want to be fully present in the moment. Authentic communication can only exist when you are being present. Those witty replies that seemingly come out of nowhere only happen when you are not inside your head.
I’m at a point now, where thinking about anything while I’m out only screws me up. I literally feel retarded when I am out – I yell DURR and think of silly things. This gets me massively “in state,” and I have an incredible amount of fun. Having fun while you are out is crucial. This “game” stuff is meant to be FUN…it is not a chore.
How did you clear sticking points, if you're supposed to be going out and not thinking, but at the same time working on your sticking points?
This is a great question. Like I said before, I used to micromanage every approach because I was trying to improve my skillset. The effect of that was horrible. I started to become outcome dependent and seek reactions because I was only worried about the skillset improving, not actually getting the girl. My natural inclination was to eject from sets early to protect my ego and convince myself that I was getting good reactions.
I got tremendous advice on how to deal with this situation from Jeffy:
“Either YOU FUCK or THEY LEAVE…period. This is Sparta!”
Most sticking points auto-correct. If you continue to go out, you’ll develop reference experiences reinforcing good beliefs and crush those limiting beliefs. When I am having trouble clearing sticking points, I just focus on the issue before I go out and set some goals that will help me eliminate the issue. If your sticking point is “I don’t get physical with girls,” go out and try to get blown out by “over-escalating.” Not only will you have a massive amount of fun, but you’ll also realize how potent being physical is. You can’t get blown out by ‘over-escalating,’ but you will always get blown out by not getting physical.
How, specifically, do I do day game, and is it a viable means for someone to consistently do day game(instead of going to clubs)?
I do not go out of my way during the day to meet women. Initially, I had negative thoughts on daygame. Most of the guys I knew that went out during the day only did so because they feared the loud nightclubs. My beliefs have changed, but I much prefer going out at night than the day. I don’t meet women in nightclubs because I believe the highest value girls are there, I meet women in nightclubs because there is an abundance of women to meet.
Daygame is an afterthought for me after being out in the clubs so frequently. When I’m out during the day, I usually have an agenda – walking to class, shopping, etc… I’m often on a tight time schedule and chatting up girls is not an option. When I don’t have to be somewhere, I’ll go out of my way to meet a cute girl walking by.
During the day, you can grab an instant phone number without getting flaked on. During the day a girl will see that as “fate,” but in the night club, she’ll see it as “drunk ADD guy.” It is also easy to set up instant dates during the day if the girl is available at that moment.
In the nightclub, you are surrounded by stimulation – loud music, alcohol, drugs, other guys, dancing, etc… During the day, the “bitch shields” are down. I notice that girls are thrown off balance when I approach during the day. I always approach directly, and they aren’t used to guys doing this during the daytime.
I have much more fun in the nightclub meeting women, but I’ve met some quality girls during the day. If you can’t approach during the day, you have work to do.
In what ways did you change since you joined this community? How did this affect the other areas of your life?
My life has massively changed since I discovered RSD and started working on self-development. I actually wrote an entire thread about some serious changes I am making in my life after my bootcamp in Boston:
www.rsdnation.com/node/169093
When I first discovered RSD, I was obsessed with getting success with women. Self-development wasn’t on my agenda…I just wanted instant results! It doesn’t work this way, and I am grateful for that. I had to learn to work on myself first before I could get high quality women. There is no magic bullet here! I used to waste hours upon hours playing video games, getting drunk, and watching television. Now, I find more pleasure in reading, writing, playing guitar, going out the bars/clubs, exercising, and meditating.
My productivity levels have shot through the roof. I do more in one day than I used to do in a week! After watching the Blueprint Decoded, I had some serious shifts in my thinking. I’m extremely optimistic, non-judgmental, and genuinely happy all of the time. The quality of my life has exponentially improved since discovering RSD – not only with women, but in all areas.
What would you tell yourself looking back at the different stages of your development?
The best thing you can do is be persistent. Success in this area is not that challenging. In the moment, you will feel like it is the hardest thing you have ever done, but as you get better and have more successes, you grow faster and with more ease. Commitment, consistency, and discipline are the most important factors to becoming seriously successful.
I definitely played around in my comfort zone too long in the past. I even catch myself doing it to this day! Live your life on “the edge.” Pushing your comfort zone every night will yield tremendous results! I can’t imagine where I would be now if I had pushed myself harder the first couple years going out.
I’m extremely hard on myself. I try to jump “4 levels” in one night. Looking back, I can see how far I’ve come, and it is amazing! I still need to remind myself that development is slow, but it is continuously happening. Having goals and standards for yourself is important, but beating yourself up takes the fun out of going out and meeting women.
What would you tell somebody who is struggling with approaching anxiety and rough emotions from being rejected constantly? How can they stay motivated to keep going?
Approach anxiety is an illusion. The easiest way to get rid of approach anxiety is to change your beliefs. EVERY approach is a success because it is leading you to a state of greater social momentum. You cannot have a bad approach because you are simply building up social momentum.
Most people view rejections as a bad thing. Rejections can massively boost your state if you learn to make them FUN! I love getting rejected because I find it hilarious and it gets me in a positive mood. It sounds counterintuitive, but letting rejections affect you on an emotional level is so silly. When I get rejected, and the girl is walking off, I’ll yell: “WAIT! I you’re my last chance for love!!” or “Wait!! Don’t go!! I LOVE YOU!!”
Being obnoxious and yelling after the girl makes you laugh and turns a “negative situation” into a positive one. Rejections become an opportunity for you to boost your state and have even more fun while you are out.
www.personalprofound.com
I have written something close to 20 articles sence I started it back in November. It started out with a blog and then became a website together with a friend from RSDN.
I have been asking guys that I believe write solid stuff on rsdn if they want to contribute to the website as guest writers.
I want to make it as awesome as possible for YOU. I want you to get as much as possible out of it.
This is an interview with our friend Drama from RSDN.
Enjoy!
How often do you go out?
I am always out at least 3 nights a week, but I ideally I’d make it out 5-7 nights. I do 30 Day Challenges periodically too, and I highly recommend them! The most common advice you will ever get on the forum is GO OUT. It is true, you won’t learn to be successful with women if you don’t go out, but the quality of your night is important. I’ve learned that going out 3-4 nights a week and pushing myself HARD is much more beneficial than going out 7 nights a week and taking minimal action. The best case scenario is that you push yourself hard every night out.
What is going through your head(if anything)?
When I first started going out, I was constantly in my head. I questioned whether I should approach this girl, if that girl would like me, what I should open with, etc... I was trying to micromanage every interaction. I would remind myself "breaking rapport tonality, lead the interaction, get physical!" At the time, I was convinced that reminding myself of what actions to take was helping, but I've come to realize that it only slowed me down.
When you are out meeting women ANYWHERE, you want to be fully present in the moment. Authentic communication can only exist when you are being present. Those witty replies that seemingly come out of nowhere only happen when you are not inside your head.
I’m at a point now, where thinking about anything while I’m out only screws me up. I literally feel retarded when I am out – I yell DURR and think of silly things. This gets me massively “in state,” and I have an incredible amount of fun. Having fun while you are out is crucial. This “game” stuff is meant to be FUN…it is not a chore.
How did you clear sticking points, if you're supposed to be going out and not thinking, but at the same time working on your sticking points?
This is a great question. Like I said before, I used to micromanage every approach because I was trying to improve my skillset. The effect of that was horrible. I started to become outcome dependent and seek reactions because I was only worried about the skillset improving, not actually getting the girl. My natural inclination was to eject from sets early to protect my ego and convince myself that I was getting good reactions.
I got tremendous advice on how to deal with this situation from Jeffy:
“Either YOU FUCK or THEY LEAVE…period. This is Sparta!”
Most sticking points auto-correct. If you continue to go out, you’ll develop reference experiences reinforcing good beliefs and crush those limiting beliefs. When I am having trouble clearing sticking points, I just focus on the issue before I go out and set some goals that will help me eliminate the issue. If your sticking point is “I don’t get physical with girls,” go out and try to get blown out by “over-escalating.” Not only will you have a massive amount of fun, but you’ll also realize how potent being physical is. You can’t get blown out by ‘over-escalating,’ but you will always get blown out by not getting physical.
How, specifically, do I do day game, and is it a viable means for someone to consistently do day game(instead of going to clubs)?
I do not go out of my way during the day to meet women. Initially, I had negative thoughts on daygame. Most of the guys I knew that went out during the day only did so because they feared the loud nightclubs. My beliefs have changed, but I much prefer going out at night than the day. I don’t meet women in nightclubs because I believe the highest value girls are there, I meet women in nightclubs because there is an abundance of women to meet.
Daygame is an afterthought for me after being out in the clubs so frequently. When I’m out during the day, I usually have an agenda – walking to class, shopping, etc… I’m often on a tight time schedule and chatting up girls is not an option. When I don’t have to be somewhere, I’ll go out of my way to meet a cute girl walking by.
During the day, you can grab an instant phone number without getting flaked on. During the day a girl will see that as “fate,” but in the night club, she’ll see it as “drunk ADD guy.” It is also easy to set up instant dates during the day if the girl is available at that moment.
In the nightclub, you are surrounded by stimulation – loud music, alcohol, drugs, other guys, dancing, etc… During the day, the “bitch shields” are down. I notice that girls are thrown off balance when I approach during the day. I always approach directly, and they aren’t used to guys doing this during the daytime.
I have much more fun in the nightclub meeting women, but I’ve met some quality girls during the day. If you can’t approach during the day, you have work to do.
In what ways did you change since you joined this community? How did this affect the other areas of your life?
My life has massively changed since I discovered RSD and started working on self-development. I actually wrote an entire thread about some serious changes I am making in my life after my bootcamp in Boston:
www.rsdnation.com/node/169093
When I first discovered RSD, I was obsessed with getting success with women. Self-development wasn’t on my agenda…I just wanted instant results! It doesn’t work this way, and I am grateful for that. I had to learn to work on myself first before I could get high quality women. There is no magic bullet here! I used to waste hours upon hours playing video games, getting drunk, and watching television. Now, I find more pleasure in reading, writing, playing guitar, going out the bars/clubs, exercising, and meditating.
My productivity levels have shot through the roof. I do more in one day than I used to do in a week! After watching the Blueprint Decoded, I had some serious shifts in my thinking. I’m extremely optimistic, non-judgmental, and genuinely happy all of the time. The quality of my life has exponentially improved since discovering RSD – not only with women, but in all areas.
What would you tell yourself looking back at the different stages of your development?
The best thing you can do is be persistent. Success in this area is not that challenging. In the moment, you will feel like it is the hardest thing you have ever done, but as you get better and have more successes, you grow faster and with more ease. Commitment, consistency, and discipline are the most important factors to becoming seriously successful.
I definitely played around in my comfort zone too long in the past. I even catch myself doing it to this day! Live your life on “the edge.” Pushing your comfort zone every night will yield tremendous results! I can’t imagine where I would be now if I had pushed myself harder the first couple years going out.
I’m extremely hard on myself. I try to jump “4 levels” in one night. Looking back, I can see how far I’ve come, and it is amazing! I still need to remind myself that development is slow, but it is continuously happening. Having goals and standards for yourself is important, but beating yourself up takes the fun out of going out and meeting women.
What would you tell somebody who is struggling with approaching anxiety and rough emotions from being rejected constantly? How can they stay motivated to keep going?
Approach anxiety is an illusion. The easiest way to get rid of approach anxiety is to change your beliefs. EVERY approach is a success because it is leading you to a state of greater social momentum. You cannot have a bad approach because you are simply building up social momentum.
Most people view rejections as a bad thing. Rejections can massively boost your state if you learn to make them FUN! I love getting rejected because I find it hilarious and it gets me in a positive mood. It sounds counterintuitive, but letting rejections affect you on an emotional level is so silly. When I get rejected, and the girl is walking off, I’ll yell: “WAIT! I you’re my last chance for love!!” or “Wait!! Don’t go!! I LOVE YOU!!”
Being obnoxious and yelling after the girl makes you laugh and turns a “negative situation” into a positive one. Rejections become an opportunity for you to boost your state and have even more fun while you are out.