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Sergei
Jan 16, 2011 13:03:04 GMT -5
Post by sergei on Jan 16, 2011 13:03:04 GMT -5
I've been reading collegeflirt for a couple days now, and I've decided to become a member of this forum and start posting and being active and whatnot. I'm hoping I can find better help now than at RSDnation, where I felt like I was being judged by the entire communtiy for being a complete idiot. I was a really awkward idiot in high school. I hung out with a couple guy friends and didn't really interact much with other people. When I got to college I was determined that this would all change, I would be a really popular and cool guy who went to all the parties and got laid multiple times a week. Of course that didn't happen, but I got a good start. I have a lot of really cool guy friends, although I'm only really good friends with a couple of them. When I first got here my method of meeting girls was to interview them and number close. After a while I stopped number closing because it just felt awkward. Yeah... The college I go to is a really small super-academically-oriented school, like 800 people in each class. The parties are all really lame, but I don't even care, if I could just get invited to them I could work with what I've got. A lot of people complain about how there are no hot girls here but personally I've lowered my standards enough that it doesn't bother me at all. There are also a lot of complaints about how the girls don't want to experiment at all, but I know there are at least a couple girls who are dtf, and it shouldn't matter anyway. I have two main problems: my absurd approach anxiety and complete lack of day 2 ideas. Since the school is so small I'm always worried about imperfect approaches because I'm worried about running out of cute girls. It's stupid I know but still, every time I see an open set I'm like "If this doesn't go perfectly I can't try those girls again for the next four years" and don't go for it. The other problem is that there's absolutely nothing to do here as far as I know. Whenever I do get a girl's number I inevitably get flaked. There are also a lot of examples of girls I used to be friends with who act really weird or unfriendly around me now. I've also steadily been annoying my guy friends with my eagerness to do stuff and have a good time. I know I'm retarded but I get extremely frustrated at my situation here. I've seriously considered transferring to a different college but that feels like such a pussy option that I haven't started yet. So that's my introduction. I'm hoping that over the next couple weeks/months I can become a much better and less socially pathetic person, wit hor without the help from this site. I'm trying prety hard despite a lot of internal and external problems. I'll post updates on what goes down. I get really down on myself sometimes because this school is so small that it's very easy to feel like my entire world is just collapsing around me because I'm a clueless, hopeless idiot so I hope I don't annoy anyone too much with all that.
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Sergei
Jan 16, 2011 17:13:18 GMT -5
Post by Two Step on Jan 16, 2011 17:13:18 GMT -5
First off dude, your problem isnt your situation. Its how you view yourself. You insult at put yourself down countless times in your post
Its your life, and the only difference between bad ass mofo and chodes is.....dum dum dum...the bad ass chose to be a bad ass... that is it
I went from being a world of warcraft nerd who was basically a born again virgin...and now i run college flirt
You got this man, but you gotta realize before anything that YOU ARE THE SHIT...if you think you are a pussy with a horrible situation no one....NOOO ONE... is gonna just outta no where think your awesome
Lets get some work done in 2011...before the world ends n shit =P
Welcome brah!
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Sergei
Jan 16, 2011 23:37:42 GMT -5
Post by sergei on Jan 16, 2011 23:37:42 GMT -5
OK so I didn't do much today... woke up late, did homework, worked out, ate dinner with frat bros, then went to a movie with about eight guys and two girls. One of the girls I like, the other is okay but has a boyfriend and is pretty annoying. I had called the first girl last night and she hadn't picked up. We left in a group and it was fucking FREEZING while we waited at the bus stop. The second girl was talking to these two guys she is really good friends with who are really goofy and funny. First girl was just kind of standing around by herself.
First girl: The first time I met her was back at the beginning of last semester, we went out with a bunch of her friends and I was really shy and quiet the entire time. We went out with a couple guys I didn't really know another time and I was also really quiet because I was super-tired on that occassion but I got her number anyway, I don't remember how. She went out with one of my friends for a while and I used to see them late at night and talk and play games and we went out to eat together a couple times and became pretty good friends. She broke up with him around the end of the semester, I didn't get the impression that they were ever really that serious in the first place but she still seemed a little upset about it. I continued talking to her and texted her once late at night to see if she wanted to go get a 2 AM snack (she studies really late, so do I, but we have completely different classes) and she didn't want to. When I got back from winter break she was one of the first girls I saw and I was pretty cool with her, since then she has been hanging around my floor a bit so I've been kind of a mixed bag since sometimes I see her sitting outside my room looking bored when I'm completely out of state.
Anyway I should have talked to her but I was fucking cold and my lips were numb and I couldn't think of stuff to say. When the bus came I sat next to her and we talked a little but not too much and when we got off the bus she walked with the other girl and her two friends. One of her guy friends had come with her but he was a complete chode, nevertheless she sat next to him in the movie theatre. We saw Black Swan and when we got out on the bus ride back I sat next to her and was a lot better. We talked about football for a bit and then a little more about other stuff. We passed by some bar that I've never been there and I asked her if it was fun to dance there and she said it was. Asked her between her and the other girl who would be the black swan and who would be the white swan and had fun with that for a bit. Then she warmed up to me some more and we vibed for about twenty minutes, she has a tattoo of a heart on her wrist that her friend copied from her and I told her that he said she copied it from him, grabbed her wrist to try to find her pulse point, etc. All good stuff. Near the end of the conversation I asked her if she and her roommate wanted to be in a suite with me and some other guy that she is friends with next year, she said no because she is rushing a sorority, so we talked about sororities and her roommate for a while to let the awkwardness wear off and it didn't seem like that I was trying to get that out of the conversation (which I actually wasn't it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment invitation). I think it didn't come off too awkwardly, to me it still seems like it did but maybe not to her. Or maybe that was a good thing that I did that. I don't know. Anyway near the end of the bus ride I ran out of stuff to talk about with her and we didn't walk back together.
Good? Bad?
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Sergei
Jan 17, 2011 0:11:16 GMT -5
Post by Two Step on Jan 17, 2011 0:11:16 GMT -5
Girls you know dont count, go out and hit on strangers.
Your not in sexual position with this girl ....IE friend zone...
You got this, vibing is easy as you see. Need to get out of your comfort zone
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Sergei
Jan 22, 2011 0:45:07 GMT -5
Post by sergei on Jan 22, 2011 0:45:07 GMT -5
OK last two days I did some good things. I've been kind of on-the-ball. I have more homework than you can possibly imagine though =(
First of all there is this girl that my best friend used to be interested in but now he says she is "crazy". I told him I thought she was really hot before he told me that he knew her at all and he encouraged me to meet her and ask her out. So now I feel like I have to which is fine because she's super-hot and from what he's told me sounds like my kind of girl. She's kind of popular but doesn't have a ridiculous amount of social value. I've been keeping an eye out for her and seeing her all over the place since then. She's always with at least one of her friends, most of whom are kind of losers, and usually in a group with at least three girls and one guy. I've seen her at lunch a lot, haven't said hi or anything because I feel really pressured to make it perfect. I know that's stupid but so what, this girl is a big deal XD. Anyway I saw her at breakfast sitting with one of her friends and one guy and didn't do anything even though there was an open fourth spot, and then I saw her in a store and didn't do anything. Yesterday.
At lunch I saw some girl who (these are the only two cases of this by the way) one of my other best friends actually went out with once and then broke up with because he said she was hot (and lives in a single!) but too awkward for his tastes and he thought she didn't like him. He actually asked me last semester to ask her out because he wanted to see if she would act the same way with me that she did with him. Anyway I saw her when I was getting lunch and she said hi and I asked her where she was sitting and she stammered awkwardly and just told me she was sitting with some people whose names I didn't know.
After I got more food I looked for her a bit but didn't see where she was. So I sat with this other girl who I met once last semester in an obscure circumstance but she is very pretty so I didn't care. She was done eating and just sitting there reading, I just sat down and said hey (before I could convince myself not to - confidence!) and she said oh... hi... and I said "what's your name again" even though I knew it. I wanted to remind her that we'd met before so it wasn't too awkward that I was just sitting here with her but didn't want to let her know that I remembered it because she clearly didn't remember me. She said she didn't remember when we'd met so I made her guess and then gave her a little hint, she didn't get it so I told her and that launched into a discussion about the cool people that we had hung out with. Later on she told me about the book she was reading and asked me what my major was... I'm starting to feel like a good way to judge success is who asks the major question. After about ten minutes she said she had to go and left... I thought abotu sitting there by myself but got up to go explore and see if there were any of my other friends and discovered where the awkward girl was sitting.
I grabbed my plate and went over and sat down with her and these two guys she was sitting with at a four person table. At first she just kinda stared at me and was like oh... um... hi.... and I asked whether I was allowed to sit there, she said yeah and then introduced me to her guy friends. I joked around a little bit, I made a mistake by telling her that the guy she went out with once hated her and asked her why he hated her so much. It was supposed to be funny but she seemed upset about it and told me that whenever we talked he was all I wanted to talk about. I told her actually she was the one who was always talking about him and she said that that was because our friendship with him was the only thing we had in common. The other two guys left to go get water or something and she told me she really liked the guy sitting next to her and was kind of upset that I had said that she always talked about my friend. I shrugged it off and apologized and this is kind of what the conversation went like: Her: But yeah, he's the only thing we have in common Me: That's not true. We took an English class together last semester. Her: Oh yeah! We do have that in common.... so... um... I'm taking another English class this semester. Me: Oh how's that going? Her: Um.... goooddddd...... Me: Yeah... that's not actually very interesting. Um, what color shirt are you wearing (she was wearing a jacket?) Her: (pulls her jacket down) green Me: Shit! I'm wearing black. Hey, we're both wearing white t-shirts though. There's something else we have in common. And I gave her a high five. Then the other two guys ame back. The guy she said earlier that she really liked has a "really hot girlfriend" and I talked about how that's not true because there are no hot girls at this school. She said they were all just hiding from me because they hate me, I told her I knew someone who actually hated me - her best friend. Her best friend doesn't actually hate me, she is just really awkward, but I made fun of how she stares at me whenever I walk into a room by staring at this girl and asking her if she felt uncomfortable, which made her laugh. Then guy 2 said he wanted to ask some girl out but didn't have the balls too, so I joked about how the girls have a list of guys that have asked this girl out and they were going to put him at the top and make fun of him and make sure everybody on campus knew he was a loser who asked her out. Everybody laughed at that, but I was out of food so I had to go. She seemed happy and more chill by the end of the interaction though. I forgot to number close, I don't know whether it would have been the best time to anyway though.
More shit happened, not too interesting, then tonight I was taking notes in our dorm lounge when a girl comes in who is kinda hot and I know she's in our building but only because I facebook stalked her once, otherwise she never even comes out of her room as far as I know. She sat in the chair across the room and started reading a book and acting like I wasn't there, so I didn't do anything for about five minutes. I don't remember how I rationalized it but it wasn't really approach anxiety even. I think I just didn't want to stop doing my homework and talk to her as soon as she walked into a room. One of my girl friends came in without saying anything and started typing something on her laptop, and I figured I would go out for some water and then come back in and ask her what she was working on and then ask her if she knew the other girl (which she did) and start talking about her like she couldn't hear us which would be funny. My friend actually left after about five minutes though, so I waited another two minutes and then went to get some water, came back in and asked the girl what book she was reading. We talked about that for a bit and I asked her her name and why I had never seen her, which led to us spending almost twenty minutes just talking about what people she knew and what we thought of them and etc. I think I talked way too much (I said like 75% of stuff) but she was smiling a lot and laughing some. I got her number in the middle, and she said that she met a lot of people and didn't remember their names. I told her she didn't even remember my name even though I had just told her it, which she laughed at because of course she didn't, so I made her guess it. I realized I hadn't touched her yet and we were both relaxing with our feet up on chairs so it was kind of hard, but I asked her if she wanted a hint and then took her slipper off and told her that my name started with one of the letters on the logo on the sole. So that was funny and worked. We vibed for another fifteen minutes or so and she said she had to go to sleep, I gave her a hug as she left. And that just happened.
So, which were good, which were bad, which were just absolutely terrible and idiotic, what was evident of my trying to hard?
Also, what should I do with this girl's number? We don't have any friends in common and she lives right above me. Tomorrow she is sorority rushing. I have one best friend that I do kind of cool shit with sometimes, although mostly it's pretty spontaneous, but other than that not much goes on at this school, most of my friends are just people that I see at clubs or around the dorm or sit next to in classes or at lunch but don't do anything with because there's nothing to do.
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Sergei
Jan 22, 2011 19:32:43 GMT -5
Post by sergei on Jan 22, 2011 19:32:43 GMT -5
So I decided to go to to a play on-campus tonight with my friend and invite her. Text conversation:
Me: Hey, my friend and I are going to go to (name of the show) tonight, want to come? Her: Hey sorry who is this?? Me: Sergei Her: Oh hey! I think I'm just gonna stay to tonight and get some work done... I've been rushing all day and I have it again tomorrow! Me: Oh, ok. How did rush go? Her: It went well! Me: Was it as bad as I thought it would be lol Her: Nahh haha it was kinda strange but I got used to it... It wasn't bad at all Me: Glad to hear it! Well good luck tmrw & cya later Her: Thank you!
Not sure where to go from here with this girl.
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Sergei
Jan 24, 2011 0:06:32 GMT -5
Post by sergei on Jan 24, 2011 0:06:32 GMT -5
Nothing happened today, any advice?
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Sergei
Jan 24, 2011 1:10:28 GMT -5
Post by Two Step on Jan 24, 2011 1:10:28 GMT -5
Id really just recomend meeting girls and going casual. The one that lives right above you is pretty money. If shes interested maybe just invite her over for a movie. People in college rarely go on "date" dates
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Sergei
Jan 24, 2011 1:32:24 GMT -5
Post by sergei on Jan 24, 2011 1:32:24 GMT -5
How exactly is the optimal way to do that? And what if she says she's busy or whatever. How long/short should I wait before talking to her again?
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Sergei
Jan 24, 2011 7:06:37 GMT -5
Post by MassiveRay on Jan 24, 2011 7:06:37 GMT -5
How exactly is the optimal way to do that? And what if she says she's busy or whatever. How long/short should I wait before talking to her again? Nobody can tell you this stuff, you should try out a couple of things and see what works for you, for a while it will be hit and miss until you get the feel for it but in the long run you will attune to your own style rather than having to come here ask about the next step every time you reach it. Try waiting a day with this one if she says no, then don't wait at all next time, the next time wait a week etc. A lot of this shit is to do with finding what works for you and learning from when it doesn't.
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Sergei
Jan 25, 2011 2:14:51 GMT -5
Post by sergei on Jan 25, 2011 2:14:51 GMT -5
OK today: Good and bad. I was really tired in my philosophy course, sat next to some hot russian chick that I'm sort of friends with, but kept almost falling asleep instead of talking to her. Some girl who is in the class but always sits in the corner and hides sat next to me and I teased her a little at the beginning of class before falling asleep. In the middle of class I told the russian chick that I liked her scarf. That was the only thing I said to her the entire class. Lame I know but fuck it I was super tired. After class got out I talked to the other girl for a bit on the way home, turns out we're both in the fencing club together so I put my arm around her shoulder and said we were fencing buddies now, that made her smile, but she had to go to the library halfway through our walk home.
Later on at night my friend and I pulled out a deck of cards and decided to get a card game going, I texted a bunch of girls from the floor upstairs and told them all to come downstairs. First I texted a girl I saw at breakfast, she was about to go to work so I told her to give another girl she works with a hug for me. Then I texted the girl mentioned above, still no response as I'm typing this. I was just saying "Hey come downstairs" for all of these by the way. Texted the girl from the first post, she did come down and we had a lot of fun, couldn't get a fourth person though. The fourth girl I texted was a girl who used to be one of my best friends but acts really oddly now, and she still hasn't replied either. So 1/4, 2 didn't even reply, what a pain. The girl from the first post was laughing the entire time we were playing cards though so it's all good, I gave her a hug as she went upstairs, I'm pretty disappointed that the girl I met Friday didn't even reply. And yeah I know I need to meet more new girls.
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Sergei
Jan 25, 2011 13:12:37 GMT -5
Post by Two Step on Jan 25, 2011 13:12:37 GMT -5
try "come down stairs...dorm orgy"
at night time, girls get 10 texts to your 1. They dont have time to answer all of them unless they are important or get their attention
Orgies always get attention
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Sergei
Jan 27, 2011 1:36:17 GMT -5
Post by sergei on Jan 27, 2011 1:36:17 GMT -5
My text game still sucks, evidently. I texted the girl who used to be my friend but now acts oddly around 11:30 and said
"Hey do you have any classes around like 2?"
No response
In my philosophy class I was talking to some guy that another girl and I are both friends with and he was being really grumpy, so I texted her
"Why is Joe so grumpy aaaaaaaaaa"
No response
At about 11:30 I texted the girl upstairs I met on Friday and said
"Hey i am about to go run, want to come with me?"
No response
Am I retarded?
On the other hand I had a really excellent flirty text conversation with one of my friends yesterday but my phone already auto-deleted it =/
I'm starting to get suspicious that the girl from Friday only replied to my text because she didn't know it was me at first. I haven't seen her since then and this is the second time she hasn't responded.
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Sergei
Jan 27, 2011 2:06:23 GMT -5
Post by ceoarob on Jan 27, 2011 2:06:23 GMT -5
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Sergei
Jan 27, 2011 15:28:37 GMT -5
Post by sergei on Jan 27, 2011 15:28:37 GMT -5
The girl from Friday texted me at 8:00 this morning:
Srry i went to bed before 11 last night i was rly sickk :-\
Me at about 10:
Oh im sorry to hear that =( get well soon! Some guys on my floor are really sick too so I think something is going around.
Her at about noon:
Aw thank youu!
And then she walked by me going opposite directions to class and avoided eye contact about three hours later. What the fuck.
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